Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Have ALWAYS Eaten Too Much

When Cocoa and Barley (http://the2mightybeans.blogspot.com/) came up with this tag, they may just have had a pup like me in mind. Embarrassingly, Sierra Rose has tagged me with the "OOPS I ATE IT" award, cause she knows my history (cough). Do you have the time, bloggie pals, to read my epic about foodables (not to mention non-foodables) I've lifted over a 2-year course of time? Seat your butts and/or bodies down into a comfy place while I spin the saga of Sammie's (stolen) and mostly ingested items.

Contemplating...
Okay... here are the rules to this award:
"When accepting this award, you must blog about the food you have stolen when your humans were not watching. If you have never stolen any food, you must have been a really good pup! You can accept this yummy tray of cookies as your reward! Next, add the logo of this award to your blog (optional), then nominate at least 5 other furry blogs and let them know by leaving a message on their blogs."
Well... I don't know if there's any "oops" to it, except mama's and dad's incompetence at catching me heheh! I weighed 64 pounds when I came to my furever home in May 2007. By the end of September, I had gained 18 pounds. Here's how:
In the first week, I destroyed an alarm clock, ate half a warm gingerbread cake and a potholder, two duck stuffies and a goose one. I munched on the contents of all bath waste baskets, worked on part of a door (plexiglas); when my attempts failed, I knocked it out and jumped outside to freedom. I bit and tore at two screen doors for freedom too. Then I found some form of food on a hike that contained marijuana - later it was not a pretty sight and required emergency vet treatment. Ate back hall carpet, a down pillow, 3 training bumpers, Ozzie's food, both wet and dry, breaking a dish in my attempts to get at it. Ate 2 cardboard boxes where mom's manuscripts resided. I ate corners of blankets, 2 of my Dad's shoes (not a match), apples and plums from backyard trees (that's why there's a wire fence out back today). I uprooted all the garden carrots I could find as well as mom's strawberries and tomatoes. Back in the house, I found two nicely cooked turkey breasts on the counter (WHERE were my keepers?) - got 'em plus a pound of raw turkey meat later that week. I'm very, very fast, and by now, very fat.
Ma put me on a strict diet, but that didn't stop me from trying on walks, trails and open space. I'd gobble any poo I could find - horse, deer, bunny or - at home, kitty roca. Disgusting but rare, any upchuck available. I will steal anything from mom's office waste basket that's non-recyclable. She has to watch what she tosses in there. Kitchen trash can is always a major target, but I really can't get to it anymore. I did manage to score three of dad's socks. But the peeps are watching me much more carefully and I'm very hungry, poor me. I think that's why I went for the G-L-O-V-E. What a fiasco that was. It was that event that really put me on constant surveillance. A dropped doggie treat, meant for another pup, or a grandpeep's carelessly held snack is my only fair game these days and it's been tough. However, I was back to a trim 64 pounds a few months later, where I've stayed for a long time. And that's the truth of my sicko crimelife. I need a program! I know that so many of you have posted about this tag, so please, if you haven't received this award, I'd love you to take it and blog about it! I will read it - every word, drooling.
Hugs xo
Sammie
Pee Ess: I must, however, tag three particular bloggers, cause I'd really like to hear about the ingestions of stolen foodables (or non!)
Tucker and Daisy
Mason Dixie
The Rocky Creek Scotties

35 comments:

Sierra Rose said...

Oh Sammie! I knew you were going to have a tale to tell! Must say, we are oh so very glad you have survived all of these incidents, especially the glove!
And, yes, you are looking trim these days, and beautiful as always. Keep up the good behavior, so you can mentor me on good behavior too (mom would like that)...though...garbage surfing lessons could be fun...and I have been working on a few pillows....!

See you soon pal!
Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Anonymous said...

Wow Sammie!

You definitely like to learn about stuff by using your mouth...BOL! My mom thought I was bad but after reading that post, I deserve some extra cookies!!

Sniffs and licks,

Chase

Princess Eva and Brice said...

That is quite a list! And it is better to get the non-matching shoes. I always find the right shoe to be the tastiest.

Brice

Dexter said...

If you are what you eat, you are like totally a whole house and all of its contents. Time to slow down, my friend.

Slobbers,
Mango

Thor and Jack said...

Hi Sammie!
Is hard to resist so many tasty things, isn´t it?!
The episode of the glove was terrible!
Be carefully, my dear!

xoxo
Thor

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Wow, that IS quite a SAGA of items consumed and/or destroyed. We knew about the G-L-O-V-E but had no idea. Sammie, stop that right now. That is just too scary. We don't think you look too heavy, in fact the only word that comes to mind is GORGEOUS!!!

Woos, the OP Pack

Woodrow, Luna, MJ Campanella said...

woodrow has the same non edible issues

we feel bad for your pawrents

Woodrow - Sweetie - MJ

YD, sometimes with ♥June and ♥Angel Samantha said...

OMD!!! You sure ate a lot of things. Bet you didn't eat your pawrents money like I(Samantha) did!


Hugs,
Sam & June

Molly the Airedale said...

Holy moley, Sammie! You sure do deserve this award! And I thought Mitch was bad! hehehehe

Love ya lot,
Maggie and Mitch

Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

OMDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Sweet Sammie!!!!
We known the gloves story..but we didn't think that you was soooooooooooooo craxy eating all those things!!!!
We're sooooooooooooooo happy that you have survived all of those incidents....
You're sooooooooooooo lucky!!!!
But Sammie...now you're a young lady....and you Must stop to eat all those dangerous things...PLEASEEEEEEEE.....we need you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be careful sweet baby!!!
WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU A LOTTTTTTT!!!!
Thanks for sharing with us those food's secrets!!!!!
TAke care of you!!!!!
SMACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Sammie, we are shocked!! We just think of you being so sweet and chasing your Kong. We are so glad to know that you've had some checkers in your past!! How did they taste?

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

PS - we'll probably take the challenge and tell about our escapades soon.

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Sam you were one busy pup.. Foodables or not...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

The Adventures of the LLB Gang said...

OMD Sammie...I do think this award was designed with you in mind!!!

I am glad you have slowed down a bit!!

Smileys!
Dory

Anonymous said...

Hey sammie,
Ah, yes. How well we all remember the infamous leather glove and clasping strap being devoured and, unfortunately, retained. Complete with photos of the evidence. It is indeed fortunate that no school children doing homework reside with you, otherwise the teachers would be bombarded with the sterotypical excuse; the dog ate my homework. We can all well imagine that there are surveilence cameras throughout the house to keep an eye on you. A full time bodyguard would even be cheaper than some of your vet bills for consumption of non dog food material. you are well deserving of this award.

Chester said...

I bow to you Sammie! And I have just gone up a notch on the "good boy" scale in Mom's eyes.
They must love you a whole bunch to endure your garbage gut adventures.
Just be careful Sammie,I'd like to see you around for a long time and well, accidents do happen.
Still very proud of your accomplishments though.
Chester ;0=)

Scout and Freyja said...

Ohmygosh! We celebrated one birthday, mowed the lawn, paid some bills and went to church in the time it took our momma to read alla' the stuff you's ate. Holey moley!

Valerie Cummings said...

Uh, we are totally shocked!!! So glad you came out ok Sammie!!! Hugs Joey and Kealani

The Army of Four said...

Ha woooo. We were going to stick to just food.... otherwise, it could get mighty embarrassing for almost all of us.
I'm glad you're OK after all that!
Luv,
Dave

Budrow Wilson Spain said...

Samantha I love this days blog! I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. Though I am not as dedicated as you are, my two-legger calls me a finicky eater, I did have a little girlfriend that you remind me of. If there was a piece of pizza split in two she got both as I could never grad it fast enough. If there was a stick of butter on the kitchen counter, she got it, no matter what pain she was going to endure as the butter passed through her system she could not keep her mouth off human food. She was/is a true food whore. Thank you for the memories.

Checkers & Chess said...

sammie - ooooooohhhhhhhh

D.K. Wall said...

I am Sammie. I am a garbage-a-holic.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Sammie!
Congratulations on your award. Veeeery well deserved!
I can't believe you ate all those things!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Anonymous said...

how can you still be alive?

Martha said...

Hi Sammie
We just loved your post! We have to tell you that Martha will eat anything - poo, vomit etc if your not quick. She has also gained weight!!!!
We have just sat and read her your success story to inspire her. It was like the canine equivalent of overeaters anonymous!
She also has to eat fast - do you think that when you come to your forever home they may not feed you?
We are so proud of you Sammie and you are Martha's new role model. We have to say that although Bailey recently stole a sandwich at a picnic she is nowhere near as food orientates as our dear gutsy Martha!!!
love and kisses
xxxxx

Teddy Westlife said...

A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. Try to eat only the digestible stuff from now on, though.

Huffle Mawson

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

Ah yes!

I will always remember woo fur your glove khonsumption!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Astrid Keel said...

OMD! What amazing tales! The glove! OMD!

Dexter said...

Hey! Momma thinks I was about three months old in my puppy movie and maybe weighed about 40 pounds.

That Raja sure bullied me. Now I do the same thing to pee-wee (hee hee).

Slobbers,
Mango

Dog By Nature said...

Wow Sammie, I think you win the ultimate I ate it award! Your poor tummy has had a workout.

Nala & Robin said...

Good job stealing, Sammie! You make us proud. Hihihihi ;D

And thanks for stopping by..We're stoked to get to know you too!

XOXO

Nala & Robin

Mason Dixie said...

Wow what a lot of crazy things to consume, thanks for passing it on to me, I will get right on it. =)

Unknown said...

Oh Sammie - I could NOT believe the list of things - both food & NON-food - that you've eaten!!!!! How did you fit it all?? I don't think a Great Dane could have eaten what you did! Amazing! Oh, I know I shouldn't say that coz your poor humans must have suffered...especially worrying about and emergencies at the vet but my God, I think you deserve a medal for being the most creative canine consumer I've ever met!!! (And for surviving it all!)

I think it is very commendable of your humans to have got you back to a strict diet - and it's great that you've got your figure back! I'm not as persistent or as creative as you when it comes to looking for sneaky snacks but I do love a bit of kitty poo or sheep poo or - YUM - horse poo if I can get it!!! :-)

Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

Piappies World said...

Hi Samantha!
Your post is such an interesting read. We do get lots of those incidents too! It's quite funny that you probably have listed down more than what we have chomped away all together! heehee

-Fudgie, Princess, Scrappy & Bullet

SEDONA said...

Sammie, I was BOL'ing reading about your culinary adventures! And 18 pounds in just a few months?! That's gotta be a record of some kind!
Thanks for the giggles!
Your pal,
Sedona

Mason Dixie said...

wow you sure did make your way around the house when you arrived. I am sure you were just trying to get the "taste" of your new home back then. =)